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Avengers: Infinity War
Directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo
Rated PG-13
Assembled 26 April 2018, deconstructed 6 May 2018

Infinity War spells gloom and doom for moviemaking.

War Is Over (If You Want It)

The latest Avengers installment is a spoiler-rich movie that ends with a humdinger of a cliffhanger, but it's not putting much at risk to say there's a whole lot of death and destruction going on. Overall, the uber-dark storyline makes for an often-times depressing movie. But the depression goes beyond the storytelling. There's a much bigger problem afoot.

First, allow me to digress.

Scheduling conflicts prevented me from attending the press screening of Infinity War, so I saw the movie as a civilian on its opening Friday. As a guiding principle, I simply don't care what anybody else thinks of a movie – my views are mine and those who disagree are, well, wrong. ("Wrong" is a decidedly bull-headed term when it comes to film criticism, which is such a subjective artform in itself.) I avoid checking out Rotten Tomatoes' scores until after my review's been written and published. I don't pick fights with other reviewers in the middle of a review – and I remember one time when Roger Ebert, the legendary film critic, did just that. He called out a fellow critic in the thick of his review – I wish I remembered which movie he was writing about. Anyway, that's largely viewed as bad form.

I offer that digression in order to move forward with this: infinity War has presented me with the opportunity to take a slightly different tact for this article, with the movie already in release, breaking box office records (without adjusting for inflation, anyway) and enjoying bafflingly high critic and audience scores on RT. That's what's stuck in my craw, more than anything else about the movie.

The movie didn't sit well with me after I left the theatre. Indeed, it's one Marvel movie I have virtually no interest in seeing for a second time. And the more I think about it, the more depressing its popularity has become.

On opening weekend, it made $630 million at the global box office. The weekend box office. One. Weekend.

Misery Loves Company

So, let's set the stage.

My favorite IMAX theatre offers seat selection at the time of ticket purchase, so I was able to scooch right on in, popcorn and soda in hand, right as Maria Menounos finished her block of lights-on commercialism. To my right sat a couple, who may or may not have been part of a larger group. With each movie trailer, I heard the woman moan. The couple kept track of how many previews – all upcoming summer blockbuster hopefuls – were shown. Six! Seven! Moans of exasperation emanated from the two seats to my right.

Do they even like movies and the moviegoing experience? Why are these two forces of darkness here, now, surrounded by fans?

The guy directly to my right was roughly half the size of Thanos. I make that comment purely for color. As countless characters begin to flash onto the screen, this guy starts to get fidgety. He leans forward and looks across the row, looking past me and those sitting to my left. He converses with his companion, to the point I look over and lock eyes with the woman. I gave her my "shut it" look of annoyance.

And then, slightly before William Hurt appears for his paycheck (I remember when he openly blasted movies like this), the guy looks up and says just loud enough to be heard by me over the thunderous IMAX sound system, "Miiisssery."

Shortly after that, he left. And never came back.

Clearly, this wasn't his cup of tea. Why he was there, on opening day, with advance tickets and reserved seats, is beyond me. It's always good when a franchise can grow its base, but Infinity War isn't exactly the jubilant way to celebrate the first 10 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

With Great Power Comes… Ummm…

Nonetheless, that individual's displeasure, upon further inspection and introspection, really wasn't that far off the mark. Infinity War isn't a very good movie. I have a hard time even calling it a movie at all; it's 149 minutes of visual vomit.

Sadly, it feels more like a Zack Snyder DC misfire than a continuation of the unprecedented success story that is Marvel, up to this point all executed with a scary amount of smarts and consumer savvy. The storylines of Justice League and Infinity War are eerily similar and both are equally disappointing cinematic experiences.

Ironically, while at the press screening of Rampage, the ongoing popularity of the comic book movies was a topic of discussion. The notion was floated that Marvel's movies are more successful because they're about the people. DC's movies are about the super powers.

I was quick to point out there's an exception to every theory and the Dark Knight trilogy certainly broke that DC rule. It was a thrill to see Batman (whose super power is his wealth) propagate the message that ordinary citizens can be the heroes of their own world.

And now, Avengers: Infinity War breaks the rule on the Marvel side. It's all about those super powers as one hero after another pits their abilities against Thanos and his nefarious plans for population control. When the heroes aren't flashing their prowess, they're waxing ponderous – and remarkably selfish and impotent – as the fate of the universe hangs on their getting past their own personal interests. For these modern Marvels, the needs of the many don't always outweigh the needs of the few or the one. (Yeah, that's a Star Trek thing. But it fits.)

Their selfish internal commotion doesn't make for the compelling themes they're intended to evoke.

Lights... Cameras... Action!

What hurts the most while watching Infinity War is this big-budget blockbuster has fallen into the trap I've been complaining about quite a bit lately: The movie's full of action, but precious little excitement. It's a whole bunch of motion and visual spectacle that pays the ultimate price for all its CGI gimmickry: It lacks any sort of resonance.

That's brought me back to the summer of 2015 and Mad Max: Fury Road. George Miller brought physicality and practical effects back into the picture and created an overwhelmingly enjoyable theatrical experience. Seeing people do amazing things is far more interesting than watching what a computer's spat out.

So. What if the reins were put on CGI? What if movies went back to old-school modeling and the creation of a real, tactile, three-dimensional world? It's unlikely, for sure. But true storytelling with an emotional core is getting kicked to the curb as the heroes get buried under the purely visual aspects of their supposedly super powers.