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Go behind the scenes of IF with writer-director John Krasinski and the cast
Featurette: Paramount Pictures

IF
Directed by John Krasinski
Rated PG
Imagined 17 May 2024
#IFMovie

IF wants to be a marvelous work of marzipan, but it’s more like a jammed PEZ dispenser.

Believing Is Seeing

I don’t know, Doc. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. I just saw IF, a new movie about little kids and their imaginary friends, or IFs. As the end credits finally started to roll, I began thinking about my own childhood.

Did I have an imaginary friend? I don’t think so. If I did, he — or she — or it — wasn’t very memorable, obviously. Or worse he — or she — or it — didn’t stick around for very long and chose to move on without me.

Does that make me a turd?

I’m so confused. I have a headache. But it’s one of those brain-freeze kinds of headaches, like the kind you get after rushing into a Slush Puppie with a little too much gusto. It was that kind of movie, Doc. I really don’t know what to make of it.

Didn’t society make fun of people with imaginary friends? After all, IF has Jimmy Stewart’s Harvey playing in the background on a TV. But, in IF, having an imaginary friend is a quintessential part of childhood. To not have an IF is a shame, so the story goes.

IF wants to create a wispy-eyed sense of nostalgia, but it’s clearly John Krasinski’s nostalgia.

I mean, there’s this kid’s dad, played by Krasinski, delivering what I’ll simply describe as a really disappointing performance. But, hey, the guy also wrote and directed IF, so maybe he was too pooped to be Pop by the time his scenes came around. He’s in the hospital. He’s dancing with an IV bag stand. He’s clowning around. He’s cracking jokes. Maybe he’s trying to be strong for his kid, Bea, but he’s kind of annoying, even in his very limited screen time.

Bea. Wow. She’s 12, but she’s played by 17-year-old Cailey Fleming; she’s collected a lot of acting chops from all those Walking Dead episodes. Don’t get me wrong. The kid’s great and she’s possibly the movie’s strongest element.

But, anyway, am I supposed to be worried about Dad? Krasinski tries to turn Dad’s situation into a matter of life or death toward the end (of the movie), but it doesn’t work. It’s one of a few payoffs that, well, don’t really pay off. Dad turning into an E.T.-like back-from-the-dead hero? Nah.

You followin’ me, Doc?

— Yes. I’m here. Taking notes. Lots. TONS of notes. Please. Please keep going.

Wonder Wheel

IF is teed up as a tale about the power of imagination, but it plays like a movie struggling mightily to create new movie magic moments. You know. The kind of moments that show up in highlight reels celebrating the magic of film. Sorry. I mean the magic of movies.

Bea’s mom encouraged her to tell her a story. At least she does in Bea’s recollections. See, Bea’s mom died under untold circumstances. It’s such a dark start.

Maybe that’s why so much of the “magic” feels forced. And Michael Giacchino’s cloying score only compounds the problem.

Getting back to this being Kraskinski’s nostalgia, why is Tina Turner starring in a flashback with Bea’s IF? It’s incongruous. But it sure makes for a happy, feel-good scene, seeing Bea decked out in a showy stage suit and Ryan Reynolds wearing a mullet and a guitar tie. Bea’s 12, for Pete’s sake. Hmm. When is this movie? Did I see smartphones? Flip phones? Bricks?

Ryan Reynolds. He’s a guy named Cal, one of Bea’s friends who’s also deeply familiar with imaginary friends. Dang. Reynolds is usually so good. But here, he seems bored. Maybe even annoyed.

O. My head!

So, while Dad’s in the hospital, Bea stays with her grandma. She’s played by Fiona Shaw. You know her. She was Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter movies. Bea sets out to write a story to share with her dad while he’s in the hospital, but she gets sidetracked with a new job.

She becomes a matchmaker. Matching forgotten IFs with people in need of an imaginary friend. As the movie posits, if a person doesn’t need or relate to the IF, they can’t see the IF. And, as Krasinski insists, while having an IF during childhood is critical to an imaginative, creative life, it’s even more important to have an IF when you’re an adult.

Doc, I didn’t have an imaginary friend when I was a kid and I don’t have one now. But I still know how to think big and dream out loud. Really big. Really loud.

It gets awkward thinking about all this. In the hospital, Bea meets a chatty kid with all kinds of broken bones and even a broken TV in his room. But he doesn’t have a broken spirit; he’s chipper as all get-out. So, Bea thinks it’d be great to match this kid, who’s never had an IF, with other people’s — former — imaginary friends. That doesn’t “feel” right. I hate when people say something doesn’t “feel” right, but that’s what this movie’s done to me.

Okay. So, I guess Bea takes that weirdness — and failure — and files it under “lessons learned” in the entrepreneurial spirit and she then sets out to reunite IFs — who all reside in something like a nursing home for old imaginary friends — with their estranged persons.

Feeling Blue (Maybe a Little Purple)

It is a great premise: What happens to imaginary friends when kids grow up?

The visual effects are quite good, taking the world of Roger Rabbit-like melding of live action and animation to the next level. But this time, instead of noteworthy legends from the world of cartoons, IF is saddled with a lot of rather standard imaginary friends from Central IF Casting working hard to force smiles. Yeah, that’s right. “Smile, darn ya, smile!”

But who is this movie for? Kids in the crowd didn’t seem to get into it.

And it struggled to hold my attention. I was too busy trying to figure out why the surprises weren’t surprises. Why is there a “surprise” around Cal’s IF situation? It was brought out in the dialogue loud and clear earlier in the movie. Like Dad’s health, Cal’s back story is a missed opportunity to throw in a twist and make a payoff actually pay-off.

This isn’t the right story to tell. IF wants to be some sort of counterpunch to Stephen King’s IT, but it doesn’t work.

And that’s a shame, because there’s a great voice cast behind the IFs: Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Matt Damon, Awkwafina, George Clooney, Bradley Cooper, Blake Lively, Emily Blunt, Sam Rockwell, Richard Jenkins, Steve Carell and Louis Gossett Jr. In the wake of his death in March, Gossett, who plays a comforting, well-dressed Teddy bear, gets a nice, touching post-credits tribute.

I don’t know, Doc. I walked away feeling like I had just been put through the wringer of watching John Krasinski having his own therapy session.

Can you help me, Doc?

— Well, we’re out of time. I’m sorry. But, let’s talk again next week. The receptionist can handle your payment on your way out.

• Originally published at MovieHabit.com.