Travel

Mattopia Jones and the Mattomic Bomb
18 December 2023 – 15 January 2024

Chapters:   Interview  •  Dream Is Collapsing  •  Karen  •  Happiness  •  Buddhism  •  Land  •  Water  •  Air  •  Music  •  Monkeys  •  Michael Douglas  •  Beach-off  •  Re-entry

Monkeys

“If Mattopia Jones goes on another adventure, there better be some damn monkeys.”
Paraphrasing a comment David Letterman made regarding Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

---

Monkey Business

When this trip started, nothing was planned after 30 December. No New Year’s Eve plans. Nothing after Phuket. Maldives? Locked in thunderstorms. Same for Indonesia. Same for Bhutan. Myanmar? Civil war. Cambodia? Want to plot a fresh approach before going back to Siem Reap and Angkor Wat. Vietnam? Some weather issues and the need to plan ahead around visa requirements. Laos? Hmmm. Maybe.

The New Year was ushered in on the beaches of Phuket. Fabulous.

That was followed with a flight up to Chiang Rai. New territory to explore.

And then the realization: Over the course of the trip, the good doctor’s luggage was getting weighed down with cashews and Buddhas.

Roasted cashews. Jumbo roasted cashews. Premium cashews. Truffle-coated cashews. Plus, some macadamia nuts harvested in Chiang Rai.

Wood Buddhas. Lapis lazuli Buddhas. Buddhist votive tablets.

What to do? What to do?

The question became: How to get from Chiang Rai all the way back down to Bangkok without going to an airport?

The discovery: MyDayTrip.com.

---

Lop Buri

The following is an excerpt from the handwritten journals of Mattopia Jones, painstakingly transcribed and translated from the original Mattskrit scribbles and published here with the author’s permission.

“When I approached the temple gate to pay my entrance fee, they were quick to take my water bottle and hold onto it for me. Having the bottle with me would make me a target for the monkey mafia and monkey gangsters. In return, I was given a stick. To whack the monkeys away? Nah. They sure did like playing with the stick and, you know, do some monkeying around on it.

“Some of the more ambitious monkeys even tried to take the stick.

“No dice.

“Given I had the stick in my left hand, monkeys tugging at me, and monkeys pulling on and climbing on the stick, plus I had the Sony A7CR in my right hand, I’m surprised the stick video turned out as well as it did.

“Keeping things in focus one-handed? Nifty trick.”

Some monkey fun in the sun.

---