Select a category from the catalog below and discover
some of the world's greatest treasures,
only a couple quick clicks away from being your very own!
Mattopian Express is the preferred form of payment at
Irish-Dutch East Mattopia Compagnie.
"Mattopian Express: No Matter Where You Go, There You Are"
Make a Mattopian fashion statement. Even Carrie Bradshaw would approve.
Mattopian Whoop Ass!
Each can of Mattopian Whoop Ass! now features nitrogen pack technology for greater freshness and potency.
Whether at home or in the cube, keep the Mattopian spirit alive.
We've got the finest limited edition collectors items on Earth. Bobbleheads, Chia Matts, Chatty Mattys... nothin' but the best.
Be a bona fide part of Mattopia.com's new headquarters! Extremely Limited Availability!
The Mattkins Diet (Back in Stock Soon)
You too can learn how to gain weight through a unique blend of raw chocolate chip cookie dough and intense, life-altering workouts. Get your autographed copy of the diet book that's changing the nation only at Irish-Dutch East Mattopia Compagnie! "The Guinness and chocolate chip stew is simply breathtaking." - Mattopian Life magazine.
Check back often for the latest styles, fashions, and products!
We at Irish-Dutch East Mattopia Compagnie offer our sincerest apologies in advance if the item you are looking for is currently out of stock.
Please keep in mind that in Mattopia, every day is a holiday, a birthday, an anniversary, or... something and we simply can't keep up with demand. To accommodate our growth, Mattimus himself has designed a new headquarters, including a state-of-the-art factory. The massive - and posh - facility is currently under construction in Mattsachusetts and we hope to be up to speed real soon.
Rest assured our manufacturing processes do not pollute the environment and all our employees are treated to large doses of heart and soul.
Thank you for your patience.