On the Road

On the Road 2002:
Tales for the Mattnik Generation
(or, Never Mind the Politics!)

This is the Special Pre-5th Anniversary Edition,
now complete with restored sections
including incomplete sentences, random thoughts, and other errata.

A Few Words of Inspiration
Prologue

Chapter 1: New York
Unstuck
Urinetown The Musical
Matthattan: Mini Photo Album
Billy Bob Thornton and Shakira: Mini Photo Album
Review: Billy Bob Thornton in Concert at Joe's Pub

Chapter 2: The Nederlands
Maattsterdam (Sex, Drugs, and... Uhhh...)
Even Bono Gets Rejected
Maatterlandia: Random Notes

Chapter 3: Kazakhstan
The Journey to Mattyrau
Life in Mattyrau
Acclimation
Mattopia Jones and the Lost City of Saraichik
Saraichik: Mini Photo Album
Mattyrauia: Random Notes
Atyrau: Mini Photo Album
How Long Must We Sing This Song?
Eat My Shorts!
To Serve Man?
Imagine

Chapter 4: A Four-Day Weekend
Antwerpen: Waffles et Diamonds et Guinness
Bruxelles: Tintin and the Guinness Goldmine
Lady Luck and the Angel of Haarlem
Trabant!

Chapter 5: Kazakhstan
Mattyrau Episode II: Attack of the Smurfs
Declassified MIS Photos
Mattopia Jones and the Cult of Fear
Kazakhstan Articles from The Washington Post

Chapter 6: A Pitstop in Hungary
Budapest: Child of the Revolution Gets Steamed

Chapter 7: Den Haag
"Start your day off with a BAM!"

Chapter 8: MBC's Good Morning Mattopia
Transcript of Matt Power's First Interview with Mattimus
(Original Air Date: 2 August 2002 via Satellite from Den Haag)

Chapter 9: Vacation de Force
Brussels and Bruge
My Glorious Return to Paris
The Moulin Rouge
The Revolution
Paris: Mini Photo Album
Paris Interruptus / Amsterdam

Chapter 10: Zooropa Weekends
The Beach of Scheveningen / Leiden / Delft / Amsterdam
Fireworks on the Beach / Waterlogged in Rotterdam / Gouda
Utrecht / Jazzed (and Pooped) in Den Haag
Waterlogged in Rotterdam Part II
The Bananen Bar
Feyenoord Win One for The Mattman

Chapter 11: One Year Later
11 September

Chapter 12: MBC's Good Morning Mattopia
Transcript of Matt Power's Second Interview with Mattimus
(Original Air Date: 14 September 2002 via Satellite from Dublin)

Chapter 13: Mecca
Dublin: Ahead of an Electrical Storm
The Unforgettable Fire
The World's Largest Village

Chapter 14: Intermission
Zooropa Day 104: Ready, Set... van Gogh
Bruce Springsteen and My City of Ruins
The Merry-Go-Round

Chapter 15: England
Chiswick: Know Your Surroundings
Ziggy Stardust Comes Home
Bits and Bobs

Chapter 16: Across the Channel...
The Worst Pint
October

Chapter 17: ...and Back Again
Fight Club UK
fcuk JDE?
The World is NOT Enough
London: Mini Photo Album
From Hampstead to Heathrow

Chapter 18: Here
An Apology to the Three Chicks I Stood Up
That Explains the Windmills
(The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly in The Hague)
Trick or Treat
Amsterdam: Mini Photo Album
Global Terrorism
Delft Shagpijpjes and Saint Etienne
My Calling?
All Fired Up in Delft
Delft: Mini Photo Album
Women and Their Big Buts
The Original XXX
Hotel Talk
Huh?
A Terrorist Attack on the World's Largest Lemonade Stand
My Big Regret
Corruption is Good
An Irish Foursome... LIVE in Concert... in Amsterdam!
Christmas Gala: Mini Photo Album

Chapter 18: There
Back in the UK
The Ripper

Chapter 19: MBC's Good Morning Mattopia
Transcript of Matt Power's Third Interview with Mattimus
(Original Air Date: 16 December 2002 via Satellite from a Top Top Secret Location)

Appendices
Stack Ranking of European Cities
Mattopian Seal of Goodness (MSG) Certified Establishments
The List of EVIL (Extremely Vile, Incredibly Lousy) Establishments

The E-Mails

Other Great Sites
LifeIsGrand.org
NotOverYet.com