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"It's going to take a while for this trip to sink in and integrate with the canon.
I'm curious to see how the historians and my biographers will interpret and spin this one."
Mattopia Jones
(comment made to the Times while waiting for baggage at Denver International Airport)
16 January 2020
Matt Manor is in disarray.
That's hardly news. But, nearly two weeks after the epic Jaws of Life episode concluded, there's a fresh injection of madness in the Mattness. Freshly procured artifacts are still concealed under layers of bubble wrap. A box of miscellaneous items from Australia, Indonesia and Japan (sent from South Korea and nearly decimated during transport) lies on the floor, wide open, with various goods and packaging spilling out — no doubt looking to escape their distressed cardboard confines.
And then there's Mattopia Jones himself. He's a little disheveled and in need of a shave and a haircut to spur those curly locks into some rejuvenation following a modestly decent cut in Mumbai. In fairness, though, the guy's been through a lot. Bizarre conditions on a nightmarish Air India flight from Delhi to Bangkok introduced a cold and an ear infection; he could hardly hear after the flight, but still managed to navigate through Thailand immigration. Regardless, he looks comfortable in his spectacles and sweats (no need to freshen up for the press, we guess). Rest has been fitful, but, true to form, Matty is on the mend and gradually returning to his version of normalcy, thanks in part to the antibiotics provided by a kindly Chinese man in a Thai pharmacy.
In all, with some cool new acquisitions already on display (including a very Zen candle holder serenely burning a tea light candle — remarkably appropriate, he says the scent is called “Cranberry Chutney”), there's a vibe of creativity that balances out the clutter. It's an environment which finds the intrepid explorer quite at ease even as he cautiously steps over the crushed Korean box with a fresh mug of coffee in his hands — it's one of his favorite blends, Daz Bog's Russian Roulette (freshly ground, freshly brewed), in one of his favorite mugs (a souvenir from a previous adventure that brought him to the countertops of Harrington's Pie & Mash).
It's time for Jones to chat with the mighty, mighty Mattopia Times as we begin to dissect the events of the past couple months. It's anticipated to be a lengthy process as we sort through stacks of documents, emails, digital notes, barely legible Mattskrit scribbles on hotel note pads, artifacts, more than two terabytes of photos, audio recordings and videos, and, of course, that razor-sharp mind locked away in Matty's brain case.
During the coming days, weeks, months — maybe even years — we'll expand this journal as we attempt to separate fact from legend and put Jaws of Life in its rightful place in the history books.
At least we can start with this: we can now definitively answer the question, "Where'd he go?" with 100% certainty.
And that in itself explains a lot. No wonder he's a little pooped and taking his time getting reacclimated with that thing called reality. We're sipping oxygen after simply jotting down that itinerary.
“From the first day to the last day, it was a trip heavy with emotion,” Matty offered as he sat down with his java. “And I was delighted things worked out so U2 could join me on this journey of personal reparation and elevation.”
.--. . .- -.-. .
Stay tuned, True Believers, and keep hitting that refresh button for the latest updates.
Boats, planes, hot air balloons... anything to get the job done.
Journey to
Thailand • Vietnam • Myanmar
U2
Mattopia Jones covers the world's loudest folk band:
5 continents • 19 countries
39 cities • 11 tours • 48 venues
77 shows • 1 Sphere
3 special appearances
6 boys dreaming out loud
0 restraining orders
Mattopia Jones visits the romanticized and controversial world of Ernest Hemingway, cigars and mojitos.
Journey to
Miami • Tampa • Havana
San Francisco de Paula • Cojimar
Walt Disney World
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