Travel

Sea Turtles
Similan Islands
21 December 2024

Mattopia Jones and the Lost Plot
Chapters:   Interview  •  Itinerary  •  Prologue: FDA  •  I Disagree  •  Perfect Day in Phuket  •  Sea Turtles  •  Similan Hike  •  Black Sheep  •  Communism Sucks  •  Reddit Sucks  •  Buddha Park  •  High-Speed Train  •  Buddha Cave  •  Unexploded Ordnance  •  Buddha Blessing  •  Luang Prabang Shakedown  •  Epilogue: Pneumonia

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"If everything goes right, you’re doing something wrong."
- Times editors spotted this comment in Mattopia Jones' personal journal

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A Welcome to Amity Island billboard from the Jaws setting at the Universal Studios tour in Hollywood

I’ve really gotten into snorkeling big time during my Thailand vacations. I have my own gear: the mask, snorkel, underwater phone case, even fins – but those stay home; they’re too bulky to lug around on the travels.

What drives me crazy is how the tour groups operate. Lots of competition, lots of options. And invariably they all say they’ll pick you up early so you can get to the islands before the other boats.

If only.

Part of it is the geography. I was picked up extremely early for this one – at the crack of 5:30 in the morning. But that was to accommodate a really long drive out to the pier. Then the boat ride.

And...

Inevitably, every boat arrives at virtually the same time and leaves at virtually the same time.

Many of these day trip packages have a "hurry up and enjoy yourself" mindset, a quest that rotates from activity to activity rather than focusing on a spot, an activity, and time for total immersion. And maybe even a little legitimate, earned relaxation.

What does that all mean?

It means mass humanity in a small section of water, which is only intensified when news gets out there’s a sea turtle in the area.

Naturally, everybody is advised by the tour guides to not touch the turtles. Of course, with so many kids around, there’ll be the inevitable shout from a pre-pubescent voice: "(So-and-so) touched the turtle!"

As I took these videos off the Similan Islands, I couldn’t help but be amused (while also quite irritated) by the teeming array of legs and feet. My inner Spielberg started thinking of Jaws. But Jaws in reverse. It’s not the humans, with their legs dangling in the water, serving as an enticing meal for a shark. It’s the dangling human legs very likely terrorizing an innocent sea turtle out looking for some peace and quiet, a little swim time while pondering sea life’s vicissitudes.

Watching these videos – with all those legs thrashing around – I can’t help but think of John Williams’ masterful Jaws theme. I’d love to edit it into these videos to drive home the effect, but I don’t want to deal with copyright issues.

Getting this limited footage of the sea turtle wasn’t easy. With all the bodies flopping around and needing to be dodged, it was so easy to lose sight of the turtle and so difficult to keep it in frame while also having to stay afloat and swim. It's a multi-tasking effort, to say the least. Honestly, most of the best of the footage was – sigh – dumb luck as the turtle came back into view on occasion. Maybe we were sympatico. At times the turtle seemed to dig me.

Later in this vacation, I finally caught onto a different snorkeling option in Pattaya: sailing with scuba divers in a much more focused and smaller group of generally older participants. That trip was great as an alternative experience, but the underwater attractions were limited. Not a lot of sea life activity to view that time.

By the way, these videos were taken on the iPhone 16 Pro Max using a ProShot Dive case.

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