Travel

Perfect Day in Phuket
20 December 2024
Miles Walked: 5.5

Mattopia Jones and the Lost Plot
Chapters:   Interview  •  Itinerary  •  Prologue: FDA  •  I Disagree  •  Perfect Day in Phuket  •  Sea Turtles  •  Similan Hike  •  Black Sheep  •  Communism Sucks  •  Reddit Sucks  •  Buddha Park  •  High-Speed Train  •  Buddha Cave  •  Unexploded Ordnance  •  Buddha Blessing  •  Luang Prabang Shakedown  •  Epilogue: Pneumonia

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"These trips aren’t about coming home refreshed or recharged. They’re about coming home reimagined and rebuilt."
- Times editors spotted this comment in Mattopia Jones' personal journal

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For Lou

This page started gelling in my mind as I polished off a perfect pint of Guinness at Molly’s Tavern in Phuket. I reflected on the day’s activities; it was a perfect day, truly.

And then I started thinking of the Lou Reed song Perfect Day. Back in 1997, he released a special version of the song performed by a slate of top-shelf artists, including Lou, Bono, Suzanne Vega, David Bowie, Elton John, Tammy Wynette and oodles of others. Since I haven’t seen this version on Apple Music, Spotify or Amazon Music, I made a note to find that CD single (a fundraiser for BBC Children in Need) when I got home.

Upon entering the Mattsonian’s Music Library, I was delighted by how quickly I was able to put my fingers on the disc. It’s proof-positive the controversial and much-maligned Matty Decimal System actually works. Really, really well.

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Perfect Phuket

"Just a perfect day, drink sangria in the park." (Lou Reed)

This perfect day – my perfect day – was snuggled between two day trips. One, on 19 December, out to Racha Island, and one, on 21 December, out to the Similan Islands. That one was a super-duper early start.

But today, this was a perfect day. I’ve been to Phuket a few times now and this visit was special. Self-reliance has become a mandatory aspect of my daily life and it’s not something I’m particularly proud to say. This time in Phuket, though, I felt cared for. I felt like I was being looked after. And that’s not all in the typical commercial beach resort consumerism. This was such a unique feeling for me, I logged it – and lodged it – in my brain.

It started with breakfast at the hotel called Sleep With Me. (As I’ve had to say to so many people – including Grab drivers – it’s the name of the hotel, not an invitation.)

No particular rush.

A stroll down to the beach.

Okay. Another song comes to mind. It was, indeed, a Beautiful Day. And I wasn’t about to let it get away.

Some rest on the beach. Sun. Peace, even amid all the beach activity. I’d look over at the nearby booth coordinating water activities. Jet skis, banana boat rides. Parasailing.

There was an inner need to get up and do something "out there," on, in or above the water.

But only after some "chill" time under the heat of the Thai sun.

Perfect Parasailing

"You just keep me hanging on." (Bono and Thomas Allen)

The parasailing experience can vary dramatically depending on where and with whom it’s done.

As part of a large tour group, parasailers (I prefer "parasailors") are herded through a line. While getting strapped in, the operators will ask if you can run. Sure. Tramps like me were born to run. "Running" in this case, though, generally entails a few quick steps before the end of the platform on a barge-like structure. But you should already be airborne before the "runway" runs out. In this setup, hold on to the straps and take nothing with you. Signs advise to leave all sunglasses, wallets, hats, cameras, phones, shoes, sandals and virtually everything else behind. It’s too easy for things to be dropped and lost at sea. Just stay clothed. Then it’s a couple minutes in the air, enjoying the view as the speedboat down below casts a wide circle around the barge.

This time, though, on this perfect day, was extra cool. No barge. Cameras welcome, just hold on to it tight. (I double-secured my underwater phone case around my wrist for extra safe-keeping.) Head out on the speed boat, then you’re called to the deck, buckled in and – hands free of the straps – achieve a surprisingly graceful lift off. It’s a longer ride. But, for me, it’s still not long enough.

Being up there, above the fray, with a phenomenal view, is exhilarating.

Other operators farther down from Patong Beach seem to offer a different – maybe longer – experience. Perhaps next time.

There’s a third method, one I experienced during a previous trip to Racha. In this case, it’s a take-off directly from the beach. Give it a little (very little) run and you’re airborne, get a great view of the surroundings during a decent ride in the sky, then land back directly on the beach, swooping into the arms of operators who are quick to get you detached from the gear. But, in this case, cameras were again frowned upon.

As a sidenote, while hanging out at the Tilted Kilt in Vegas (in town for a second serving of V-U2 at Sphere), one of the bartenders shared a video he took during his visit to Phuket only a couple months earlier. His experience was a riff on that Racha ride. He took off running right from the beach. And he landed directly back on the beach. But, as he demonstrated, having a camera was fine. I’ll have to try that arrangement.

So, I was finally able to take a video of the parasailing experience this time. In my mind, it plays like an Indy Jones episode. I can’t help but think of Temple of Doom and Dial of Destiny while I’m called up and thrown into a frenzy of attention as I’m strapped in and take off. Gotta admit, I love watching this video.

Perfect People

"Just a perfect day, problems all left alone." (Heather Small and Emmylou Harris)

What better way to come off that kind of "high," literally and figuratively, than a massage on the beach?

When in Phuket, at Patong Beach, you’ve gotta go to Bo's Massage. Bo took good care of me on two different occasions, and I was flattered when she asked me to be in a selfie with her. I’m not Mr. Photogenic, but I admit I do like this selfie. It says so much to me.

What's up with my smile? Well, I was dealing with a bit of a sunburn (a souvenir from Racha Island), so my face was kinda stuck. What can you do? I got some aloe vera to contain the damage and restore facial flexibility. In the absence of the burn, the smile would've been ear to ear.

Perfect Place

"Weekenders on our own, it’s such fun." (Tammy Wynette and Shane MacGowan)

As the evening rolled in, it was time for some pints and grub at Molly’s Tavern, a short stroll from Bo’s and directly across the street from the beach. It’s amazing how I’ve been all over Vegas and struggled to find places that know how to pour a proper – perfect – pint of Guinness. (Ri Ra at Mandalay Bay, you rock it hard!) But, in Thailand, it’s just as hard to find a place that doesn’t know how to pour Guinness. Fantastic.

"I thought I was someone else, someone good. Yeah." (Robert Cray and Fun Lovin’ Criminals’ Huey Morgan)

At the very one-and-same moment I finished my pint of Guinness (a dessert following a couple pints of Singha) and put the empty glass on the table, about ready to walk back to sleep with me at Sleep With Me, I heard the band inside strike a chord.

Unmistakable.

U2.

One.

I rushed from my outside table into the pub to take it all in.

"You made me forget myself." (David Bowie)

Then the band performed a terrific cover of With or Without You. I absolutely love what the lead singer does at the 4:32 mark; it’s a fantastic lyrical switch-up and insertion I’m sure Bono would approve.

Great pours, good food. U2 covers. I’m in my contentment zone and happy place. It’s nighttime. Sitting outside in shorts and a T-shirt and sandals I affectionately refer to as Birkencrocs (or, alternatively, Crocenstocks; they’re made by Birkenstock ("Arizona Essentials") in their classic style, but out of Crocs-like material). And it’s the middle of December.

So, there it was. A perfect day that segued into a perfect night. Fabulous sun. Soul-soothing relaxation. Exhilarating adventure.

Breathtaking sights. Great music. Perfect pints. Nice people.

That last one. It pains me to say it seems such a rarity in my world. I’m just happy to say people in Thailand "get" me, certainly more so than most people back home.

"You’re going to reap just what you sow." (Visual Ministry Choir, Joan Armatrading, Laurie Anderson and Heather Small)

"You’re going to reap just what you sow." (Visual Ministry Choir and Tom Jones)

"Oh, what a perfect day." (Lou Reed)

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Check out U2 performing One and With or Without You in the Mattsonian's Sphere concert video library.

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